October 24th 2010

Please don't let this fear be true , please let me be proved wrong , I'm not ready for this decision, I'm not ready to face it, to go through with it, to have to face some of my greatest fears, to have to make that choice, to have to face it alone, I want my fear in this to be wrong, I want things to just fix it. Times like these I just want to crawl into my mothers arms, have her hold me, run her hand through my hair, tell me everything is going to be okay, tell me I'm a good person, let me forget about everything and have her fix it. But I know with this thats not possible, something I have to face pretty much alone. Something to do by myself, something harder than anything I've ever had to deal with.

Please let this not be true. Let me wake up tomorrow with my fear just a silly fear proved wrong. Not a reality I'm not ready to face.