April 7th 2010

And just like that , another month passes by.
It seems the older I get the faster time passes, the more I seem to miss if i close my eyes for a minute, the more I find my self earning for the extra moment to close my eyes where I wont miss anything. Time passes by so quicker now, I wish I could say it is well spent , but is it ? I feel a lot lately that I need time to relax from all of this , and that I never get enough rest, I never accomplish what I want to. Life is never what I want from it. Unrealistic expectations? maybe, But I feel maybe even three years from now, when I don't have to rely on anyone else, things will be different. That I will have life my way, the way I want it, and things will be better. I guess it probably wont happen, but its good to have dreams, right? Maybe one day I'll be who I wish I was , living in the shoes I wish I had.Found this old picture of me, things were different back then, I was a different person. Better or worse? I'd like to think Ive grown .. for the better. I still find myself reminiscing the past, how time holds a different value to me now. I want to be done with this phase, I suppose, but I want it to last forever. Makes no sense, I know.

Anyways, that wasn't what I was going to say, but it seemed to come when I said another month past. Today marks the five months Ive been with my Jorelle. I`m going to have to admit, overall its been a better five months for Jenn in general. He makes me feel better about myself, make me feel more comfortable with who I am. He pushes me when I don`t want to be pushed, but need to be. He is the open arms I run to when I need shelter. He is the voice of opinion I turn to when I need to discuss something. He opens my eyes to new ideas, experiences, things. He doesn't make me feel like I have to skip meals to be good enough, or make me feel like crap about myself. I`m going to stop myself here and just say he is love. Mine. Happy Pentaversary love. They never work out the way we want but there is always more days to make up for it. Plus today was an awesome day anyways, even if it had to end soon, I`ll have my time later.