August 22nd 2010

A sick day today. My plans had been canceled, because of my ickyness, so I was recruited by my mother to do some basement cleaning. This meant lifting boxes, going through boxes, putting boxes back. Odd or not I actually like going through old boxes, I like the memories in the things we keep. Of course we have a lot of junk we don't need, that we still shouldn't have, but among those there were a few boxes worth going through. For months mother had been getting me excited to go through our store room with promise of another box she had deemed " I would get to open when I was old enough" that was my drive for the day. We spent a good hour to get everything out and sorted into piles for the kids, my pile consisted of a bag of maybe twelve stuffed animals and some sewing stuff I had brought down earlier. Joe's pile was also as similarly small as mine, and then we got to Jeff's, boxes upon boxes, most of the storage room is his stuff. A lot from when he had his own place, but a lot of it is stuff mom had kept for him as memories. We finally found one box for each Joe and I, but I`ve know of this box and gone through its slim contents many times. Honestly this sort of upset me because I would love to have more to keep from my moms family, or for her to have kept from my childhood. There I was excited and sitting on the floor going through albums of photos, family dishes, family tartans, and just stuff that meant something, hoping and searching for another box of stuff that I could call my own, totally enthralled with my hopes up, and there is Jeff, who actually had all his things kept from his childhood, all of these things for him to cherish, and he totally doesn`t give a shit. To me that`s not fair, to me he should care more, or at least not be so rude about it, at least help Joe and I move boxes.It upsets me because I then felt in a more memory lane mood, and went through pictures in our picture cupboard, and there's even more with Jeff, and how special he was held, and how dear he was, and how he totally takes it for granted. I`m not saying I`m perfect but, I think that hes going to regret how hes acted in the future.
On a brighter note, I found some pictures I had never seen before, pictures of my past as well as some I don`t even know whose. i took out pictures I wanted, and filled up an empty album I had with mixed matched memories. I found pictures of old friends, old birthday`s, oldChristmases, old places, and old memories. I loved that, it makes me think when I grow up, and I have my own house I want hard copies of pictures, to me it`s worth so much more to actually flip through an album of photos rather than just click through them on a computer. I guess maybe it`s something to hold on to, something with meaning, something to pass on.Going through my box, `tis a cup of real silver, I think I got it when I was born. It looks gross, but that`s because you are supposed to polish silver. I think this is the one thing new added to my box, I never saw it it there and I remember it from boxes in my mom`s room. In this beautiful box holds this one tape that I know means so much to my mom, its the single last thing shes has with her parents voices on it, yes it`s their answering machine message, but I have always know it to mean a lot to her and I guess it is an honour she passed it onto me. It`s funny, this is my baby brush, never been used still in its wrapping because it was to precious to use. The shoes in the background, fancy baby shoes, never been worn because they were too nice to put baby in. In the shoes I found my bracelets from the hospital, from around my hand, about the width of a little wider than my thumb. I was a tiny premature baby. : )